F**k buddies on F**ebook

There are only two media forms that have an insanely high rate of WTFs per minute. Obviously, The Daily WTF is one of them. Rediff is the other one.

I present you this piece of evidence to prove my point [1]. It is an article in which a delightful young lady shares her thoughts [2] about her latest movie.

Evidence 1: The title – “People can relate to ‘f**k’ buddies”. This  has multiple WTFs embedded in various levels. Firstly, people can relate to what? Can they also relate to thumb s**king Oompa-Loompas? Secondly, what’s with the letter masking? It’s not even a valid regular expression! If you are trying to find all four letter words beginning with f and ending with k, use ^f[a-z][a-z]k$. What the fuck is f**k?

Evidence 2: The quote – If you keep on reading the article mindlessly like I did, you would encounter the following lines.

Relationships are quite complicated these days. People want their own space and freedom. Ishaan has taken the help of Facebook, which solves people’s problems.

Earlier, we had the hero’s or heroine’s best friend, who would try and bring the couple together. In Radio, Facebook plays that best friend. That’s what pulled me to the story. The concept of Facebook is very today and everybody can relate to it.

Rediff, are you sure it’s not F**ebook? Also, Facebook solves what? On the contrary, Facebook is known to ruin relationships and cause wreck. Facebook is not a concept. Search engines, networking websites and f**k buddies are concepts. Google, Facebook and the heroine of the movie are implementations of those concepts [3].

Final evidence: The comments – I swear, I am not making this shit up. The image below is an actual snapshot of a few comments on this article. Interestingly, they are in increasing levels of WTF. Just to make things clear, I am *not* one of these people.

I rest my case.

[1] About Rediff, not The Daily WTF.

[2] Thoughts might be a little exaggeration. They are a more primitive form of brain waves that are emitted by homo sapiens  lagging behind the evolution curve.

[3] Respectively, I should add.

#Can’t #Stop #Scratching #Itch

#Have #to #tag #everything. #Otherwise #I #will #die #of #non-obsession. #Awesomeness. #Peace. #WOOT!

Dear God, I Have A Complaint

Want to meet the Pope? Join these people.

After centuries of praying for a local glacier to stop growing, Swiss villagers are now seeking an audience with Pope Benedict to get his blessing for prayers against the global warming that is causing it to recede.

This will make Rajasekhara Reddy happy. He won’t look so foolish anymore.

Nabi Azad shows Indira Gandhi how it is done

This is a very tricky one. Can’t choose between Balika Vadhu and Savita Bhabhi.

Bonus: Joey would want Savita Bhabhi in Balika Vadhu.

Facebook, Facereading and Facepalm

Oscar took the What kind of Shiney Ahuja joke are you?
You are “Why did Shiney go to the optician? To get bai-focal lens.”

Oscar took the What does your PMS symptoms tell about you?
You are Sandra Bullocks in Miss Congeniality. You don’t have PMS symptoms, PMS has your symptoms.

Oscar took the Which Indian TV show are you?
You are Rakhi Ka Swayamvar. You are fake, pompous, overbearing and plain stupid.

Oscar took the Which celebrity finger nail are you?
You are Paris Hilton’s finger nail. You scratch the deepest itches of your master and you are usually disgusting, dirty and filthy.

Oscar took the Which Windows Registry key are you?
You are HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Policies\Nobody\Gives\A\Shit\About\You

The Argumentative Indian

Have you heard what Mr. Shivde, whose name rhymes deliciously with a very pleasant Hindi obscenity related to the male anatomy, has been saying?

Shiney’s lawyer: “The maid watches Xena the warrior princess. She definitely maybe learnt survival and defensive skills from the show. Also, she is a fan of Kareena Kapoor who can easily defend herself against Shahid Kapoor raping her, Jabhi they meet. Therefore e = mc^2. Prima facie.”

The fun doesn’t end there. The prosecution is clearly having a ball with this case.

Prosecution: “Medical report is strong enough to nail the accused. Though the victim had no external injury, the medical report supports our case that sex was forceful.”

Seriously? Nail the accused? It has got to be the meanest word play ever.

Salt Water Rains

Monkey urinates on Zambian president.

Unless the monkey was protesting the newly passed monkey law about not urinating in public, that is not news. Anyone can get peed on. So what if that person happened to be the president?

Masala for you: Imagine same thing happens in India. These will be the headlines in different newspapers

1. Lord Hanuman graces our president with holy water.

2. Delhi’s kaala bandar is charged with pissing on the president.

3. Opposition party trains a monkey to humiliate the president. Assembly halted for a day.

Roop Ki Rani, Nanga Choron Ka Raja

This is why you never play truth or dare.

Extra fries for you: If that were a bollywood movie, the answer to the mystery naked runner puzzle is the hero of the movie itself. He does that because either

1. His mother is terribly ill and she urgently needs french fries to live and he is too poor to buy french fries and too poor to buy any clothes.

2. A friend of the heroine asks him to prove his love by stealing french fries and he is too rich to wear any Indian clothes.

I am sure John Abraham would be interested in playing that role.

Adult Taare Zameen Par

Do you know the difference between a video store and an adult video store? How about a banana and an adult banana?

There are very few words in the English language that are so powerful, they change the entire context and the perspective whenever they are introduced. You of course know what I am going to say now. Adult is one of those few words.

Think of any word or phrase and prefix it with adult. Bingo. If it doesn’t work, write to me and I’ll give your grandma an adult Thailand vacation. I just had the adult satisfaction of watching a very talented adult hit the adult ball hard all over the place. Yes, Yuvraj scored a century.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Q: What was Shiney’s response when he was asked, “What the hell were you thinking?”
A: “I thought we were maid for each other”

Q: What is Shiney’s favourite sweet dish?
A: Anything made with milkmaid.

Q: Why will Shiney be cast in the English remake of Rab ne bana di jodi?
A: Because it will be called “God maid the pair”.

Q: What is the maid’s most terrifying horror movie?
A: The Shineying

Q: Did Shiney try doggie style?
A: No, he has shy-knees.